


Trusting you is my decision, proving me right is your choice

by Quagswagging



Category: Formula E RPF
Genre: Andre just needs all the cuddles in the world, Cigarettes, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, First Fight, Kissing, M/M, Smoking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-21
Updated: 2019-02-21
Packaged: 2019-11-01 21:17:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17875019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quagswagging/pseuds/Quagswagging
Summary: “ 'It’s disgusting.' André choked out, stepping away so Jev couldn’t touch him. Jev got up, eying him worriedly.'Mon chéri…' he whispered, stepping towards him again.'No.' André snapped back. He knew he was being unfair to Jev, but it was all just too much. He couldn’t hold it in any longer.'It disgusts me.' he repeated."Or, André has finally had enough of Jev's smoking habits, and with good reason





	Trusting you is my decision, proving me right is your choice

**Author's Note:**

> Some slightly more sad Jeander than I normally write...
> 
> Thanks again to ma pebbles for helping me with the idea <3
> 
> DISCLAIMER: I do not know whether André's father died of anything smoking related, although he did die of cancer in 2009.  
> Most of this, as always, is just fiction, although there are some truths here too.

André quietly watched Jev opposite him, his jaw set into a tense line as he frowned at him. The Frenchman had his legs kicked up on the table, head tilted back to catch the last rays of sunshine falling down on the balcony. There was a cigarette loosely held between Jev’s fingers as the Frenchman took lazy drags from it, blowing the smoke out through his nose.

“Could you stop that?” André snapped uncharacteristically fiercely. Jev frowned at him, pushing his sunglasses up on his head and mindlessly taking another pull of the cigarette. André stood up, snatching the cigarette from between Jev’s fingers. He burnt himself on the tip and hissed, dropping it to the floor and slamming his foot down on it.

“André, what’s wrong?” Jev asked slowly, reaching out for him. André’s breathing was ragged, his eyes filled with tears as he cursed in German, the tips of his fingers throbbing in pain.

“It’s disgusting.” André choked out, stepping away so Jev couldn’t touch him. Jev got up, eying him worriedly.

“Mon chéri…” he whispered, stepping towards him again.

“No.” André snapped back. He know he was being unfair to Jev, but it was all just too much. He couldn’t hold it in any longer.

“It disgusts me.” he repeated. Jev seemed almost frightened of him, arms folded over his chest as he hunched his shoulders a little. André felt a pang of guilt when he saw the Frenchman’s stance, but he couldn’t seem to calm down.

“I-I didn’t know… you never told me.” Jev muttered. André huffed, folding his arms over his chest. He was trembling still, chest heaving with shaky breath. Jev walked over, cautiously wrapping his arms around André’s chest. André’s anger seemed to disappear for just a moment, but then he pushed away again, bottom lip pulling up into a sneer. 

“You stink.” he growled. Jev gave him a helpless look, shaking his head a little.

“I don’t understand why you’re so upset…” Jev whispered. André opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. He let out a frustrated groan, his hand slamming into the doorframe behind them.

“I… You…” he let out a sound very close to a sob, pressing the palm of his hands to his eyes.

“André, calm down…” Jev whispered. André shook his head.

“No! No you don’t understand!” André said, raising his voice.

“Then talk to me for once!” Jev yelled back. André flinched at his tone and looked away.

“I need to go.” he said hoarsely, walking back into the apartment and straight for the front door.

“No! André please!” Jev rushed after him and caught his wrist. “I promise you I won’t ever smoke again, just- Just talk to me.” he whispered brokenly, still not understanding what he had done wrong. He felt panic starting to clutch at his chest at the thought of André leaving, of the German never coming back...

André’s back was still turned to him, but that didn’t mean Jev couldn’t hear the soft sob breaking through the German’s throat. Jev wanted nothing more than to hold the German, to soothe his pains away, but he didn’t know if André would let him.

Yes, André seemed to trust Jev, and Jev knew the German loved him, but it was still difficult for the older man to open up to him, André still keeping his emotions, mostly just the negative ones, hidden safely away from Jev.

“Please André… Talk to me” Jev whispered, slowly removing his hand from André’s wrist. Seeing André in so much pain hurt him like nothing else ever could, but he wouldn't push him more. If André needed space, needed to hide his emotions again, then Jev would let him.

André finally turned around, some tears rolling down his cheeks as he swallowed thickly and looked at Jev. He shook his head with a pained expression.

“I don’t know how…” he whispered. Jev held out his arms to him, and sighed in relief as André moved into his embrace, hugging him tightly. The German was truly crying now, sobbing into the crook of Jev’s neck as Jev carded his fingers through André’s hair, pressing a kiss to André’s temple.

“You don’t have to explain.” he whispered. “But if you do, I’ll be here to listen.” he just held him, André’s weight coming to rest more and more on him. Jev slowly lowered them to the ground, André still clutching on to him as he continued to sob.

“My dad…” he choked out. Jev tensed a little. He knew André’s dad has passed away some years before, but knew the topic was normally off limits, the German refusing to talk about it. André pulled away a little, shakily wiping at his eyes. 

“My father passed away from lung cancer…” he whispered, Jev having to strain his ears to even hear it. He let out a shaky breath, suddenly understanding why André had been so against smoking.

“You never said anything… This wasn’t the first time I have smoked when you were there.” Jev whispered. André closed his eyes.

“Today is 10 years since he passed away.” he admitted. Jev let out a shaky breath, resting their foreheads together.

“Oh darling you should have said something.” he whispered, gently pressing his lips over André’s for a moment. André welcomed the kiss, shakily returning it.

“I know I should have… I, I just never know how.” he sighed and rested his head on Jev’s shoulder again, the two of them now a tangled mess of limbs on the floor. André let out another strangled sob.

“I just miss him so much.” he whimpered. Jev rocked him a little.

“Just let it all out, my love. I’m here.” he whispered. André continued to cry softly, and in a way, Jev felt relieved. He was glad André finally trusted him enough to be so vulnerable around him, even though it was horrible to see André struggle.

“I would have loved to introduce you to him, he would have really liked you.” André hiccuped after a moment. Jev let out a shaky breath, nudging their noses together until André smiled shakily.

“I would have loved to meet him.” Jev said softly. “Why don’t you tell me a little more about him?” he added. André seemed hesitant again but then nodded. He got up, and for a moment Jev feared the German would leave.

“Come here.” André whispered as he sat down on the sofa. “It’s much more comfortable than the floor.” Jev grinned and quickly moved over, cuddling into André’s side. André let out a shaky breath, his cheek resting against the top of Jev’s head.

He took in a shaky breath, and started to talk, telling Jev about his father as promised. Jev stayed quiet and just listened, fingers brushing mindless patterns over André’s forearm. 

Jev vowed to himself to never smoke again, not even when André wasn’t around, mentally listing all the places he had cigarettes so he could throw them all out as soon as André had finished talking, unless André needed some cheering up after, which would mean the cigarettes would have to wait their turn. 

André meant more to him than smoking ever could, and so he didn’t care he had to give it up, it was better for his own health too.

But above all that, Jev made another promise to himself. 

One day, he would marry André, he was sure of it.

“...Are you still listening, Jev? Sorry, I have been rambling and-” André muttered. Jev turned his head to press a quick kiss to his lips.

“Tell me more. I’m right here.”

**Author's Note:**

> follow me on tumblr: bwoahtastic
> 
> thanks for reading! Kuddos and Comments make me one happy writer <3


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